BY ANYBODY

 

The Garden

               By Anybody

 

               “Here she comes.  Everyone shush!”  The fruits quieted down as the gardener approached.  Once she had gone, the whispering began again.

               “She’s putting on gloves.  Why is she doing that?” asked the grapes.

               “Oh, she’s working with the pineapples again,” the cucumbers announced.

               “What a dumb name; pineapples.  Every other language calls them ananas. What’s wrong with English?” the oranges murmured.

               “It’s dumb and innacurate.  I mean, if you squint, they kind of look like a huge pinecone, but they do not taste like apples,” said the bell peppers.

               “Personally,” said the bananas, “I don’t mind that they changed it.  It was a little too close to another yellow, far superior fruit for my liking.”

               “Oh, be quiet, bananas.  You’re only yellow when it suits you,” said the lemons.

               “You sour little—” the bananas growled.

               “Now, now,” the strawberries cut in. “Lemons, don’t pick on bananas just because they grow upside down.”

               “I do NOT grow upside down!  It’s not my fault the humans peel me that way!”  the bananas said indignantly.

               “Now, don’t get all in a bunch!” The blackberries quiped and touched leaves with strawberries like a high-five.  Everyone giggled.

               “You two are just mad because I’m a berry and you’re not!” the bananas shouted.  Everyone gasped and fell silent.

               “I thought we agreed not to mention the “b” word again after what happened last time,” the tomatoes said quietly. 

               “Hey! Are we talking berries again?” An obnoxiously cheerful voice called.

               “Oh, hey… nightshade… how’s it going?”